A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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