Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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