Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
