Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
