Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
