I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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