I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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