when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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