i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You're like the curious george of whores
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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