Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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