A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
