only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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