What a fucking waste of an outfit
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
