Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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