I wanna bring you to show and tell
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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