he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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