Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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