Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize