theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
