why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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