youre lurking in front of me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
