Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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