I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
