I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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