every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She's the barista slut.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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