Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
