Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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