im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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