You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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