So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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