What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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