just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
