got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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