Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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