Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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