Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
