Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
