Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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