It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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