What did we do last night that was yellow?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
