By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
