You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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