I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
