You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
