I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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