my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
