You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
