this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
