Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
