i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
