Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
