I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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