when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
