true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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