OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
