I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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